Radical Acceptance

Radical acceptance is difficult enough for people without eating disorders; with the presence of an eating disorder, this concept can often be thought of as a "distant goal" or, even worse, "unattainable." However, this does not have to be the truth. In fact, radical acceptance can even further recovery from an eating disorder faster than weight gain, mood stabilization, and counseling. Why? Radical acceptance means accepting something as it is, no matter how it is. It is different from permitting or agreeing to the thing. For instance, a person with an eating disorder may not like a specific area of his or her body; however, he or she can accept that it is what it is without agreeing to liking it. This is tied to DBT methodology, which stresses that pain and lack of acceptance creates suffering. Acceptance of the pain mitigates, or even alleviates, suffering. In this sense, negative statements are replaced with neutral statements. Over time, the neutral statements start to change the way the brain processes information. It's as if a computer is being rewired to run a certain way. It is a rewarding process, but it can be difficult. One has to agree to try radical acceptance. Since it is internal, no one can force the process.

So, if it can be difficult, what are ways to begin the process?

First, acknowledge that, at times, it will be uncomfortable. The mind is often accustomed to a negative or disordered outlook. Additionally, prepare the mind for this process by instilling the idea that acceptance does not mean agreement. This can be repeated to oneself several times a day.

After one has given a few days for the mind to adjust to the idea, begin with simple radical acceptance exercises. If looking in the mirror, one might think, "I hate my stomach." Think the thought, but fire back. "It's just a stomach." If someone says, "My arms are fat," respond by saying, "My arms are arms. I have two of them. They are attached to my shoulders." Be factual and logical. Yes, one might feel that there are imperfections; however, it is essential to reroute the brain to think less in negative emotions and more in logical statements. To do this, one must refute the feelings with facts. One does not have to say, "No, they're not fat," if one does not believe it. That is why the sentences can be based in simple anatomy. "My face sits atop my neck. I have two eyes. My eyes are brown. My nose sits between my eyes." These exercises, over time, will help foster radical acceptance.

Third, try to say the change, the radical acceptance, out loud. "I may not like my arms, but I accept them as my arms."

And, with time and effort, hopefully it will free the souls of so many struggling. In the very least, it's a start.